The English

As I roam around the streets of Carvoeiro, I’m aware that the English are the most easily identifiable; the men are tattoo´d, shaven headed and have beer guts, the women are fat and frumpy and the kids look like every parents´nightmare.  I remember back in Amsterdam that whenever I saw a bunch of men (always men) behaving in an objectionable manner, they would invariably be English.  The Dutch, who drink to have fun, could never understand it.  I also recall way back in University days that there was a Flanders and Swann song that was doing the rounds.  In these days of political correctness it would be completely unacceptable, which makes it even more delicious to quote the words below and wonder where we went wrong:

The rottenest bits of these islands of ours
We’ve left in the hands of three unfriendly powers
Examine the Irishman, Welshman or Scot
You’ll find he’s a stinker as likely as not

     The English the English the English are best
     I wouldn’t give tuppence for all of the rest

The Scotsman is mean as we’re all well aware
He’s boney and blotchy and covered with hair
He eats salty porridge, he works all the day
And hasn’t got bishops to show him the way

     The English the English the English are best
     I wouldn’t give tuppence for all of the rest

The Irishman now our contempt is beneath
He sleeps in his boots and he lies through his teeth
He blows up policemen or so I have heard
And blames it on Cromwell and William the Third

     The English are moral the English are good
     And clever and modest and misunderstood

The Welshman’s dishonest, he cheats when he can
He’s little and dark more like monkey than man
He works underground with a lamp on his hat
And sings far too loud, far too often and flat

     The English the English the English are best
     I wouldn’t give tuppence for all of the rest

And crossing the channel one cannot say much
For the French or the Spanish, the Danish or Dutch
The Germans are German, the Russians are red
And the Greeks and Italians eat garlic in bed

     The English are noble, the English are nice
     And worth any other at double the price

And all the world over each nation’s the same
They’ve simply no notion of playing the game
They argue with umpires, they cheer when they’ve won
And they practice before hand which spoils all the fun

     The English the English the English are best
     I wouldn’t give tuppence for all of the rest

It’s not that they’re wicked or naturally bad
It’s just that they’re foreign that makes them so mad
The English are all that a nation should be
And the pride of the English are Chipper and me

     The English the English the English are best
     I wouldn’t give tuppence for all of the rest

This is on U-Tube at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1vh-wEXvdW8

Enjoy!

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: