Just got in after saying goodbye at work for the last time and I wanted to record my feelings. I had expected delight but it’s more a mixture of sadness and relief. It’s sadness because I genuinely like the people I worked with and we parted as friends rather than colleagues. When we say goodbye we always intend to meet again but how often does that happen? In this case, I think it will because it’s more auf wiedersehen than goodbye with email, blogs and Facebook and that makes any parting seem less final. And it’s relief because it’s finally over; that world of working for other people, the whole greasy pole exercise when you realise that the view from the top is not that great and there are more important things in life. It’s a little like the guilty relief when someone close has died after a long illness and you are happy that their suffering is over. Or perhaps it’s like the relief when a new baby is born and the pain of childbirth is replaced by something beautiful and enduring.
Well, it’s all over now; I feel drained and could sleep. But this day is not an end, it’s a beginning; it marks the beginning of a new life and, the more I think about it, the more I’m excited by the prospect.
Sleep can wait.